Lexicon78-- I understand the cutting issues you describe. I feel like it helps me to calm down and it is self punishment so it make me feel like I have "paid" for whatever. I need to have the cuts and see blood. None of the other things on the list seem to help, I have tried some, but ended up cutting to actually get the relief I needed. And, I do feel some "pride" in my scars, it feels like "proof" of how hurt I am inside my head and how "scarred" my soul is. This is all probably an inappropriate way to think, but it is how I cope. I do understand.