QueenAccountant I'm so sorry your husband makes you feel that way when this kind of things happen. It should be easier for us to communicate when we don't feel ok. I hope we can learn this soon and don't have to go through this extra tough times

Thanks notz for your words of wisdom. I think that is exactly the reason why I felt so down after I told H my thoughts. Fortunately now I feel better and now there's an open door to tell my H my not-ok feelings. I hope I can talk to you soon, I miss our conversations
Hugs back to you

Yes, I feel in a safer place now, Paddy. I saw my pdoc on Sat. and she adjusted my meds and hopefully these annoying thoughts will be gone soon. She was very nice to me and that makes me feel better too. I will look after you in Yahoo when it's daytime for you... right now you must be completely asleep ... Thank you for being my friend... you are too my good friend and I'm happy that I know you

You're right BashfullOne, I now feel good that I was able to talk to my H about my thoughts. This really has made me have less stress because I am not pretending everything is ok when it isn't. Thanks for telling me I am a fighter... I try to be one although sometimes things seem bigger than me. Hopefully these changes will stop the nasty thoughts and I will be able to control them. A Big Hug to you too:

Thank you all for your kind responses. I feel a lot of support from all of you. . On Saturday I went to see my pdoc and she told me that many bipolars have a manic or depressive episode when Spring approaches and that is what is happening to me... I am having a depressive episode and we just have to adjust my meds and do some changes in the way I am handling things. The good part is that even though I am having the SU thoughts, I haven't lost perspective and know they are irrational thoughts and I wont follow them. The one thing I have to learn is not to let them put me in such an anxious, depressed state.

Hugs to you all

- Cat