Hi Liquid...welcome to the forum.
I cut for so many reasons. A lot of it relates to both you and Eva. One reason is, like you, I have never been able to meet the perfection standard of my father. I am never good enough and sometimes I feel like I do deserve exactly what I am getting. This forum has helped me a lot with that aspect. Another reason is that it helps relieve emotinal pain. Sometimes it is brought on by memories and sometimes just really upsetting events that day. Either way I get the high. I know what you mean by the disappointing feeling you get when the blood stops coming. I suppose I should have written this post in past tense. I have made it 20 days cut free...but I still don't feel comfortable talking about it like I quit. I don't have faith that it will stay that way. Good luck...and I hope you find the help and wisdom you are seeking