Melba--I didn't want to hijack tree's thread so I'm starting a new one. Something you wrote sounded exactly the way I used to think about my former T. I would have all of these strong feelings for her during the week, and think about her a lot, but when I got to the session most of that shut off as soon as I saw her. The reality didn't match up with my fantasies because who I saw in front of me was an ordinary woman, just like me. What I made up was so not true any more when we were face to face.

When I saw her in "real life" the cognitive dissonance was even more pronounced. She would look different, more casual, and I would wonder why I gave her, just another woman like me, so much power, and why I my feelings about my relationship with her were so important to me. They faded away in real life and left me quite disappointed and disallusioned. I used to tell her that she "shattered my dreams."

The power of therapy is very scary. We have to be careful not to get lost in the fantasy part of it, yet that part of it is often crucial to working through our issues. It's a puzzle to me. Aside from my own issues, I'm fascinated with the therapeutic relationship. Comments?