Hi everyone, I'm a little shy about posting here..
I'm 18 and haven't quite worked out my sexual orientation yet, but I know I'm definitely not straight. I have a friend who I've known for quite a few years now and have been attracted on and off, but never expected her to be interested.
Recently we've been flirting a lot, and although we haven't openly acknowledged it, we are both clearly physically and sexually attracted to each other. She's spending the night at my house in a few days (we'll be sharing a bed), and I know we both want something to happen... even if it is just embracing, in the heat of the moment it could become more. I've been very excited all week and can't think of anything else.
But I'm also really concerned. Firstly while there is real chemistry between us, I know a relationship would never work. I know we'd clash and fight a lot, and also - I'm not even out yet. I can't help but wonder if it is moral for me to have sex out of a relationship. I don't judge others for it, but I'm scared I'll feel guilty afterwards and forever associate my first time with regret.
I want to talk openly with her before ANYTHING happens. If we both don't want a relationship...but just to experiment with each other this one time.... is that a huge mistake??
I really need advice. I'm worried my hormones will ultimately dictate my actions, and I don't want to cause either of us hurt afterwards. But I also want to enjoy my sexuality and be intimate with her - I know I'm physically ready for this
Thank you for reading