A few weeks back I started a thread that asked about folks experiencing "weird" things in therapy, like metaphysical or energy things. So bear with me here: This past session something really awesome, potentially weird, happened. I'd like to hear other folk's stories.
In my past, I've experienced a form of dissociating that allows me to enter a hypnotic-like state almost instantaneously. It usually happens when things feel too threatening or I can't seem to handle what's up on deck. I actually have embraced this ability as a "friend." Sometimes it happens by itself and sometimes I initiate the fading away (like when I'm on an airplane that's going through bad turbulence). I can almost always hear what's going on around me, but with a sense of being far away. It's happened in front of people and alone. I've never responded to voices calling to me from within the room; why would I? So last summer something else started happening while in this state; it's like I become someone else, someone very young who is unable to talk but can move hands, eyes, feet, etc. When this occurs, I'm pushed even farther away.
So this hypnotic state happened in my session this past Saturday; first time with this therapist. She was awesome. I could hear my T talking, and she was wanting to know if any parts had anything to say, or something like that. One of the voiceless parts started to emerge and took control of my hand. The T started to ask about the hand, calling out to whoever was moving it. (Looking back, I can't believe she understood what the hand movement represented. If there's any reason why one who is DD should see a DD specialist, this is it!) Anyway, at some point my T said something about accepting/feeling the energy from her and/or from another, very grounded (almost god-like), part. So I was stuck in this state, with a part controlling the hand and this awesome feeling of energy from both the T and this grounded part. It was like I was wrapped in this feeling of warmth from all sides. Since then, I've just been focusing on how to feel the energy of someone else. I've been practicing with my cat, and if I focus deeply enough, it really happens. This morning I checked my Facebook page and read something written by my partner's niece, and I began to feel this energy thing again, but it was slightly different, like it was the energy of my niece. Really weird but cool stuff!
So back to the hand part that started to emerge in T. There was another part trying to keep it from fully emerging. T was asking for the hand part (or any other part) to talk, and when she did that, I was so grateful that there was a part keeping anyone from speaking. I can't even begin to imagine words coming out of me (or any part) while in that state. I'm afraid of this, and it makes me nervous of what might be said. I can't imagine myself being 37 years old and having something like that take control and talk in front of another person.
I'm wondering if folks would feel comfortable explaining how parts emerge in T. Has anyone experienced what I'm discussing above, and, if so, did a part talk while in a self-imposed hypnotic-like state? Or has anyone experience feeling the energy mentioned above?
writing
|