Butterflying,
I know how you feel. I have to say I am thankful that my depression has gotten somewhat better (weirdly, sometimes it just happens) but two years ago I felt the same way. I was like, they can put a man on the moon but no one can answer me as to how to make this awful feeling go away. I just wanted to add though, have you also had some extensive physical tests recently? Just to make sure you are ok on vitamin D etc. When that vitamin is very low it can make you feel especially bad. I'm so sorry I can't offer you more... except my good wishes and hopes for you to feel better. ps. I use 2 sleep aids that help me out a bit: melatonin along with Herb Pharm relaxing sleep tonic. The nice thing about the tonic is you can keep taking it if you wake up in the middle of the night (unlike most sleep meds) 15 drops before bed, 15 more when I wake up at 3am etc.