Yes, we have had 2 NDEs, with the tunnel & the whole bit. The 2nd time we were watching everything that happened from up by the ceiling. We believe that the 2nd time we were given a choice whether to go on living or go through the gate. The first time that person at the end of the tunnel said it wasn't the right time.
We don't think you COULD come back without your soul or whatever that bit is, if it stayed the body would have died.
I'm sorry you feel so bad, but whatever is wrong I'm SURE it's not that. PM me if you like anytime, NDEs are scary, but I think you are misinterpreting what happened.

Hugs if OK,