It's okay now. Two glasses of wine and a bubble bath make life a little easier. Also I emailed T this:

We’re just going to have to talk about this on Friday because I don’t get how that relates. Why am I freaking out about this? Ugh!

And then this:

Wait, sorry, I mean, it’s not your fault, I’m just frustrated with myself, and thanks for replying. I do appreciate it. I just still think you’re trying to kick me out, and I wish I didn’t think that.

And then she said:

I wish you didn't think that, too. Definitely wasn't my intent.

I still don't like that reply. But it's better than, I want you to ask YOURSELF the questions I ask you (WTF does that mean anyway, how the hell do I do that???). At least she said something more reassuring. Ugh I wish I could talk to her NOW to straighten this out