Hi everyone,
A little background from the last few months first...I was put into the hospital, actually put myself there when i knew my meds were not working again...I was there for 3 weeks and had to go back in because the med was not working and had to be increased.
Anyways, now that am out I feel like I am so different. I am so not the same Jen that went in or was before, and maybe that's a good thing...I don't know.
Now that am out things have changed. I am/was more direct with what I was saying to people, like really telling them how it was/is. Now that I have thought about how I have reacted to people I tell myself to shut-up and stuff things again.
I got into a heated discussion with my dad the other day, I did call it a fight, but now that have thought about it I feel differently. Anyways he thinks I get everything I want. I probably have been overreacting to the whole situation, and at the time it didn't bother me. But I asked him if he was still mad at me and he said no he just needed to get it out. That day he showed his anger, and I don't recall ever seeing his anger or anger like that. I know a lot of things were going on for him at that time.
Anyways, have been thinking, and I know am not making any sense right now, but just need to get this out, and am sorry. I feel like I should just be quiet about what is "really" going on in my thoughts and life. It's not like things are as bad as they were, so that is good. But things are going down the hill again. I don't know, I am already saying I shouldn't post this, it's no big deal and it's just me over thinking and overreacting to the situations.
I feel bad that am complaining when there are people out there that are really suffering and need something that I wish i could give them.
Am sorry, am going to stop now...thanks for listening.
Hugs,
jen
and am sorry that this makes absolutly no sense at all.