I agree with Perpetuallysad - you have a lot on your plate. I think you mentioned a key point about your mom - since you don't feel approval from her, this is why you worry how others are percieving you. Even though I don't work, I am a stay at home mother of 2 girls and sometimes I feel like my head is spinning - trying to remember everything.

One tip I wanted to offer regarding your hubby. You said he turned on Star Trek online as soon as he came home. I think it would be good if you could happily let him have some time to himself, when he first comes home. Most men and working women need time to unwind - the difference is, women like to talk about their day usually and men like it be quiet for a bit. I also recommend some quiet time for yourself, in the morning or after work(or both if you have the time) - where you sit in silence and do slow deep breathing exercises. Think of this time as your 'peaceful time' - during this time don't won't worry about anything and just concentrate on calming your body and mind. Set aside time everyday and see if this makes you feel a little better. Best of luck.