I'm sorry things are going so bad for you right now. Have you tried going to the local DHS or MHMR? I know how it is. I haven't been able to go to the dr or get meds in a long time and I'm doing the same things as you are. But when I went to my local MHMR they said I did qualify but I'm going on a 2 year waiting list but they did give me a free clinic that I can go to. I wish the best of luck to you! Hugs!