Went back to MHMR today. I misunderstood during my last visit - honestly, I was barely lucid last visit. I didn't bring my income info, but we guestimated. It would cost me $145 a month to get services from them. If I had an extra $145 a month, I'd just go to a doctor and get my meds. Ironic. This visit made me feel guilty for wanting help when others have so much less than I do. How bad could I have it when I live in a decent, clean home and have what I'm sure many would consider a comfortable life? The poor people I saw there are homeless and a lot of them seem to be disconnected from reality. So what the heck am I whining about?

So...back to square one.

My husband is working on getting me on his insurance, but honestly, that's going to take $150-$200 out of his paycheck, which we also can't afford.

I was feeling better for 24 hours, but now I just want to cry and cry and cry. My skin feels strange...like there's a shaky little vibration just under the skin. I feel hot, cold, hot, cold. It's bad enough that my mind won't cooperate with me, but now my body is revolting as well. I've had a cold for weeks, but this is something else.