it's been years since my brother and i have been able to get along. i inherited what he wanted, when our parents died. i let him graze his cattle in my pastures, but that was not enough.

my daughter went to the ranch this week-end. my father built a smokehouse and an adjoining washhouse, back in the 40s. when i was growing up, my mother and father fed us off the land and with what they raised. my dad would smoke the meat and preserve it in the smokehouse. my mother had a wringer washer in the other side that she washed our clothes in. she heated the water in an iron pot (that my bro stole) and dried them on a line.

we kept a lot of their possesions in both sides. i had my very valuable (sentimentally) collection of Christmas ornaments in an old refrigerator, so the rats couldn't get to them. everything in there was neatly stored and protected. most of the ornaments were bought in New Orleans, during my many trips there.

my daughter called me sunday night. my brother tore the building down for the wood.(beautiful gray wood) it was on my land. the refrigerator is gone. the cardboard barrels are gone (full of antique linens and antique quilts)(saved for my granddaughters) and things are scattered on the front porch and in the yard. my highschool mementos are gone, as are my daughter's college items. there is no fence where the building was. so anyone's cattle can walk into the yard and tear up more things. i've hardly slept since sunday night, with severe stomach trouble, and i'm emotionally sick.

i called one of my sisters yesterday and told her that i am going to get a restraining order against him and go to the district atty and do whatever i have to do, to charge him with theft and destruction of property.

the sister called early this a.m. and told me that she doesn't want me to proceed with my plans. she says it will be in the paper??? and all that means is she will be embarrassed. she then told me that my parents would turn in their graves, if i pressed charges against my bro. i pointed out that my parents had been distressed over his actions for years and years before they died. and then i asked her what i should do about my possesions and the damages. her reply was for me to forget it and move forward. all of her concern is for herself. she is only worried about someone finding out what kind of person my brother really is. my family has laid down and rolled over for him, as long as i can remember. he's mistreated all of us and threatened to kill me, after i inherited a section of the ranch.

i feel that i have to stand up for myself. my friend, robert, is coming up from Austin, to accompany me down there next week. i do not fear for myself, physically. i fear for my emotions, if i don't do something about this. the sister that called me has never approved of my life and is very, very judgmental about my daughters. so, it isn't like i'm going to be losing alot if she's mad.

i need feedback from people who know that life is not all roses. thanks, xoxoxo pat