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I'm proud of you for doing something so hard. I completely understand your feelings. I am very much the same about leaving the house. The only thing I do differently is that because I am so nervous, if someone talks to me, I get all loud and cannot stop myself from saying stupid things. I get the shakey part too. Thankfully though, my xanax doesn't make me terribly sleepy, so I usually take that before I have to go out.
Anyhow, I am proud of you. Now take some time to recover.
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"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56
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