I'm starting to wonder if I'm the ***. I want to know my kids are safe, but maybe my daughter is working us off each other and putting me in the middle of her and her dad. I don't know.

I know it's impossible to talk with him, so I can't blame her for asking me to talk to him.

I know he's a manipulative, controlling, emotional blackmailing SOB, but maybe she's somehow being a mimic. I just don't know.

And my information retention is shot. My lawyer will ask me what was said EXACTLY and I can't in all honesty say that what I'm relaying is 100% EXACT. Like today, he said something like "he had your daughter up against the wall, yelling at and hitting her." I NEVER said that. I said he yelled at her and hit her with a belt. That's what my daughter said. That's what Tony admitted to. Why my lawyer thought I said he had her up against the wall, I have no clue. Sometimes I wonder if he's confusing my case with someone else's considering he has the 12-page report from Human Services that recounts it.

I need to get on drugs for my flightly brain, but I don't know what's wrong with me besides being depressed. Am I going to need to be on something for psychosis or a schizoid disorder? I transcribe a lot of reports for patients with schizoid problems and they all have poor organizational skills and I'm starting to think that's my problem.

I'm starting to scare myself.