things won't change with him unless he makes some changes in his life. it's one thing to say let's not drink so much but chances are he may or may not follow thru with that. i think you'd be better off telling him you won't be with him unless he goes to AA regularly. he obviously has a drinking problem. if he's choking you when you aren't even fighting what will he do if he's really mad at you while drunk? you've already given him several chances. i think you need to set strong boundaries (action) rather than just talk about this. talk is cheap. by the way, these are not "small signs of aggression". it is clearly abuse. please do take care of yourself.