Hi everyone,

I originally joined this group because I have a friend with DID, but now I am noticing some possible dissociation issues of my own and thought I would see what you think if you don't mind. I am going to talk to my therapist about this when I see her on Thursday, but was looking for the opinion of more than one person.

Anyway, I self-injure (cut) and I also purge. Sometimes I am completely aware that I am doing this myself, but other times it feels like another part of me is doing it to me to punish me. I have tried talking to that part and saying to please stop because it is hurting me but the answer is always no. So I try saying that I know it hurts but it is important to handle things in more constructive ways and I hear her get angry and tell me I know nothing and that she knows how to at least try to cope.

This seems really strange to me... talking to myself. But it does go further than that. A few months ago when I just started lying in bed I heard a little girl, maybe about six years old say really quietly "are we going to die?" And in my mind I have seen a dark room with several girls in it chained to a wall.

I know it might sound like something psychotic and disconnected to reality. But I am aware that none of this is real. The thing I am having trouble with is that I have looked up the "hearing" aspect of it. I don't hear them like they are outside of me. It is like how you "hear" thoughts but I am not thinking them. Like how you hear your conscience, maybe?

What could this be? Does this sound like a BPD experience or maybe something else? I haven't yet been diagnosed with anything, so I don't have much to go on. And I don't know how to bring this up with my therapist without sounding like I am making it up or have some kind of psychotic condition when I am quite sure this is not the case.

I would appreciate any kind of reaction to this at all... Thank you.