thanks you ms. i appreciate your reply. everyone in my life is very very supportive. but i dunno, it feels like i am taking them for granted. i don't talk to no one, friends/family, just keep to myself and my brain. im not a stubborn person in general, but when it comes to this type of thing i m very stubborn. the thoughts of my ex just won't leave my head, no matter how much i try. i have tried every distraction i can, i bought a ps3, bought a new motorcyle, started studying for gmats, went to nyc trip, made new freinds, you name it. all these things distracted me for a lil bit, but then its back to same ol, same ol.

even today, i know that she has a new bf, but i am worried about her still. i wanna know if she is happy or not, if this guy is for real or just playing around with her. i don't know why i still care about her soo much, after all that she did to me. i guess i am a weak emotional person, and i hate it. wish there was a way to make all my emotions go away.

i am gonna stop rambling now, i also apologize for it. its just that i don't really say anything to anyone i know, and writing it out here, eases my mind, and gives me hope. thank you.