So, you may have seen my other threads that I am in the process of transitioning away from my T due to a job change/move.

Something about knowing we don't have much face-to-face time left has really split our sessions wide open, and it has been so so so good....yet so so so SO painful.

I have been sharing things--difficult memories and difficult feelings--that I have never shared before, because at this point, what do I have to lose?? I already feel like I'm losing her on some level so why not just put it all out there, ya know?

I can feel our connection is stronger--we have both cried recently over some of the painful stuff, and I just have this sense that she is holding me in her thoughts. But I also think by being more vulnerable now at the end, that I'm just making it harder on myself to say goodbye.

It's a strange place to be...the self-protective part of me wants to climb under a rock and stop feeling all this pain....but if I withdraw, then I'll no longer feel the warmth and intimacy anymore, and I'm enjoying that.