Some people don't like meds, and that's fine for them. The simple fact of the matter is that they help a lot of people. I'd be dead without my Wellbutrin.

Exercise, sunlight, and getting out are supposed to help. So is talking about your problems. Trouble is, when we're at our lowest, these things are just not likely.
Looking for help for yourself is a challenge, I admire that you've gotten this far. It sounds like your location doesn't have much in the way of therapeutic resources. You should be proud of yourself for lasting this long.

This site seems like a perfect place to talk about your problems. Clearly expressing yourself almost always helps. I would like to hear more about what you're feeling. Feel free to message me, if you want to, or just post again. I wish you the best.