Ya know I get up early, go to bed late, and through all that my bf sleeps most of the time. I've lost my mom, aunt, grandfather, and pretty much my dad in the past year. Talk about grief. And then I wonder why I get so freakin depressed! If you've scanned my posts lately, you'll see that I'm having a lot of problems with my dad.

My bf tries to be there for me, but he doesn't help much. He tries to say everything's gonna be alright...he tries not to get into detail about what's going on with me...he's very vague. Anyways, he sleeps almost all day and lately he does sleep all day...that's what he does when he's out of cigarettes.

I feel so alone and just lost without having someone to be there for me. I can't depend on my sis for support because she thinks I'm all upset about the little things in life...when they are actually pretty big things to me. I feel like I'm not important to people anymore.

Last night was a doozy. I can't say why...just didn't want to be here anymore. I feel so much grief right now that it's enveloping me completely.