There were so many questions from T today. About how I felt versus how I thought. Why I thought a certain way and what made me think that way. But I don't know. I know (most of the time) how I feel. And I sometimes know how I think (but not on this stuff.) I don't know why I think the way I do. I don't know what started it. I don't know why I believe this stuff. I feel like there is one set of rules for me and one set of rules for everyone else. I don't know why.

I told her I was unsure if I wanted to talk about the stuff from last week and between session because it finally seemed to settle down. But she said that she thought it was important that we talk about it. So we did. It didn't get as intense as last week, so hopefully in between sessions wont be as bad. But I think this is going to go on for a while now.


I want more T time now.

I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive of me in the last couple of weeks because I have been such a mess. It has meant so much to have all of your support and it has really helped me get through this. I'm sure I'll be a mess again at some point, and it helps so much to know you are all here.