no you are not mixed. i feel like that SO OFTEN it is ridiculous. it is hard for me not to think i'm failing most of the time. i think he probably wasn't happy because he wants to be able to see you feel better about being in therapy, and not worse. My T has expressed very similar things to me. She has said "This isn't supposed to be so difficult", to "Maybe you don't want to be in therapy" to "Maybe another T will help lessen the anxiety." Each time, those HURT. I felt so rejected and like such a failure.

What I have come to (somewhat) learn is that she is frustrated, not at me, but at the fact that she can't do more for me...make me feel less anxious. That she has my best interest at heart. I think your T does too. He just wants you to benefit from T, but that does NOT mean he doesnt want to help you. I know it can feel like it, because I feel like that often.

Keep going. Keep showing up. Keep trying. It is the ONLY thing that has gotten me through, just showing up week after week.