((((Radien))))

Thank you posting. What you did is nothing to feel guilty for. You were honest and true to you about what you were and are feeling. Sometimes telling family can be the hardest thing. So many times they are the very ones that do not understand. Whether that is from not wanting to believe it or not knowing how to accept that I am not sure and I am not sure that it really matters.

What you did was allow yourself to not hold it within alone where it can eat at you and especially when you want someone to know. I know that many times when we tell we want them to validate and understand. To tell you I am glad you told and that we will help you through this. But so much of the time this is not the case.

Maybe they themselves are feeling some of the guilt that you are taking upon yourself when it is not yours to assume. I know that there have been and still are times when I try to step over that line of allowing someone to have their feelings but because I can see it hurts them. I try to carry it when it is not mine to carry.

Maybe it could have something to do with the fact that they are both psychologist and how could this be? It is true that environment does play a big part in how a person feels but there are others I know that had wonderful parents who feel depressed. And truth is at some time in everyone's life that depression hits everyone in some degree or other.

Depression does not care who it hits nor does it care how or why. It does not make sense many times and so many times someone can say I do not know why I am depressed, I have nothing to be depressed about. Truth is life and death both carry things in it to be saddened about or depressed about. Trying to do the best you can to take care of yourself and to listen to yourself is the best thing we can do.

I really do not believe that you caused your parents this pain. Maybe it is they already know and they are sad and devastated because they know nothing could have been done to have made it not so bad. I am not sure what you are speaking of that could not have been stopped but you are not to blame.

Guilt is something that is hard to let go of and not feel. So I understand how it can be carried. But looking at the guilt as you work through what has you depressed will help you to be able to put it where it belongs. I hope you are getting help and that your parents will support this. You are worth it.

You have taken the first step by telling what you know to be true--you are depressed. That is good self care. Now taking the steps ahead can begin to take place. Just know that you are important and what you feel is important. I validate how you feel and I think you did a really good thing even though it does not feel that way right now.

Thank you for reaching out here and for posting. Please know that we are listening and that we care. I hope you will keep letting us know how you are doing. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps