Fighting like heck, or resistance, is something to learn more about. How does that work in you, where does it begin, what fears are there about not resisting, what feels safe or protective about fighting... rahter than a judgement, this is a window opening to more opportunity.

I do not think he means that you shouldn't take medication, but that taking it just prior to or during therapy would dull the emotions you want to explore and learn about.

When I told my T I had taken Xanax just before a session, she was curious about why. I was trying to loosen up, to talk more. She wanted to explore the intense anxiety I felt in session that seemed unbearable when thinking about it before session. All resistances originate in fear, in my opinion, and talking about them is very relieving.

Failing? It sounds like you're finding even more things to bring into therapy to make it more meaningful and more helpful.