I love what you said. It is so true.It has to be created now, childhood is over. It wasnt there for me then and I cant re-do. Thats what I try to do, re-do, undo. All I ever wanted was a family and a home to come home to. A place where I can feel safe and loved for who I am. When I write it, it sounds stupid to me, like who am I to deserve these things, but all I ever wanted is so simple yet SO hard. In many ways I have to fight not repeating dysfunctional behavior with my kids and husband. It is a struggle that continues. And, you know, even when I have what I think is "home" I never quite believe it and I look desperately for ways to fix what isnt broken. Its as if I have to learn to stop "re-doing" take a breath and look around me to see where home is now. Sigh....