ET, oh how I wish I had some golden nuggets of advice for you, wave a magic wand and all would be ok in your world, but alas I cant. However what is apparent to me is your exhaustion both physical and mental at the moment and that must be really hard. Tring to make the simplest of decisions is such a challenge. I admire the fact that you continue to work through all this confusion that must be really difficult.

You spoke about hospitals and your fear and the horror stories you have heard but to be honest with you my experience of hospitalization is only positive, because I am in with a lot of people with the same challenges and many of us are working to the one aim - to get better and manage life on lifes terms.

You do need a rest that is clear and you need to give your mind a break, hard and all as that is.

I wish so badly I could do something to alleviate your growing frustrations.

Paddy