Hi Lex,
I don't know. I guess forgiveness for you being the victim and whoever was the abuser for abusing you would be a good start but that's not always easy.
Those flashbacks can cause a lot of hate especially if nobody was there to pull you out and away from it. That can be scarey.
I know because I feel that way sometimes.
Anyway, next time you get one of those flash backs try to imagine yourself as an adult today hugging yourself as you were back then.
Try to imagine everyone here on this website who truely cares about what you're going through being there and protecting you and hugging you telling you that you don't deserve this and there's a better life, you do deserve for yourself to embrace. Allow us to hug you if you think that's okay and just let that warmth override those bad feelings.
I hope that helps. ((((((((((In Lex's flashbacks)))))))) Big fat ones too. Not little whimpy ones. I mean that.