I like when my therapist is appreciative to me. When I talk about hard things with him, he learns better how to help me. He really is appreciative that I am helping him to know how to help me better. I really like that he takes the time to thank me. It is reinforcing, in a way, and helps me do it again. Like Deli's and griffin's Ts, mine has also said he is honored that I have shared something with him. On the flip side, when I am unable to share something really difficult, T says things like "I respect your ambivalence in not sharing that with me." He lets me know whether I share or not, he is good with it, and there is no pressure. I think if a T were pressuring a person to share, "I can't help you unless you talk to me!", it could have the opposite effect and make them back off even more.

I also thank my therapist for sharing with me. Does anyone else do that? I think it is helpful to him if I am little more informative than just thanking him, though. Instead of telling him just, "thank you for sharing that with me," I will say "thank you for sharing that with me, it really helped me understand better what I am going through, etc." or "when you shared that with me, I didn't feel so alone" or something like that. The more specific, the better, actually, so he get to know me better, help me better, and we can strengthen our relationship. I think this generalizes beyond thanks for sharing to letting them know what they do that does help us. We can help shape the T's behavior during session into what works best for us, if we only let them know, e.g. "when you did __________, it really helped me to _________."