Tryingtobeme,
I hope you won't be so hard on yourself. You are in a tough place right now, having left two doctors that you don't relate with. I merely had a bad session with my T the other day and I felt like I was totally unimportant. It is so hard to be without a therapist (even a bad relationship is a relationship) - or to be in limbo looking for a new one - especially while the medication isn't helping the way you need it to. Hang in there. If you feel really down you might go over to the hospital and ask if there is a day program or someplace you can go to be around people, feel safe and feel included. I hope you feel better soon. ← you inside!