well, you've brought out a lot of things, so I don't know what to start on, I've got to go in a few minutes, but I wanted to get in and say a few things at least.
I would suggest for the visual elements of web design to take a few art courses, maybe even art history. Getting a better appreciation for art will give you a better eye for what is aesthetically pleasing. Maybe take a few basic drawing courses too. Those can give you a better perspective for placement of objects on the page, etc. If you are good at the code part, I bet anything you can learn the visual arts part and will be able to be just as competitively good as everyone else. Maybe even more so because you are so good at the code part.
I'll write more later, today's my son's birthday and we're taking him out to dinner.
Believe me, I'm a nerd myself, and though nerds aren't just advertising themselves, there are a lot of us around. Have you tried visiting comic book shops around you? Or book stores?
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"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56
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