I want to cut to show how much it hurts. Some sort of external representation of my internal pain. I felt in T this week that she was saying that the emotional abuse didn't count. (Though that probably isn't what she was saying, but that is how it felt.) I feel like I need to show her how much it hurts. That there is real pain. I called T and left her multiple angry messages. The last one asking her to call back because I needed to know that she knows that it hurt. Because otherwise I want to show her by cutting myself. I know that isn't fair of me. But I'm mad that I felt like she didn't think my pain counted It's like, if she doesn't think that counted, then I'll provide her with "real" pain. Pain she can see. I know it's immature, but that is how I'm feeling right now.