My first SI event was a very misguided attempt to show my emotional pain as something physical, it didn't work for me, really doubt it works for anyone, but I understand why people (me) try it.

But when you go down that road, SI takes on a life of it's own, such a visious cycle, if your in it please seek whatever help you need to break free, if' your not in it do yourself a HUGE favor, don't start