Why I started is a long story, and really didn't make sense but I started.

After that I felt bad for hurting myself, so I hurt myself more, then felt bad about that, so I hurt myself more,

It feeds on it's self for a bit SI makes you feel better, takes away so much of your stress, lets your forget about your pain for just a bit.... but all of that is a lie, all your SI is really doing to you is setting you up for more of the same....