I did it. I got an appointment with a psychologist. I'm not even sure how it happened, guess I just kind of blurted it out to my parents during dinner. I'm feeling content with that I guess, but unfortunately the appointment is about a month away. All these years fighting depression and the likes have exhausted my strength and brutalized my spirit, I just feel so tired and demoralized. Already I feel as though that this one month, another month living in silence and agony is inevitably going to feel like a lifetime.

I keep having this dream that I'm walking through a raging blizzard. I'm gripping my chest but it's no use, blood is flowing freely from my wounds as I walk onward with a bloody trail following me wherever. I wander aimlessly as the wind and snow blind my vision, slowly the coldness of the snowstorm pierces through my clothing despite all the layers I'm wearing.

I fall to my knees as my breath falls short and my blood runs low. Suddenly in the distance, a strange faint light appears amidst the misery of the blizzard. I grow desperate as I start staggering towards it with whatever strength I have left, but ultimately I succumb to my wounds and collapse, the footprints of my struggle slowly being blown away...

I'm glad I could pull through with getting an appointment, guess now I need survive long enough to even see the doctor...