((((((((googley)))))))

There are few things more spiral-inducing that waiting for a phone call from T

Look at what you wrote above:

I KNOW she isn't good at calling back
I FEEL like she doesn't want to talk to me

What you KNOW is what is true. What you are FEELING are fears that aren't based in the truth at all. You're scared of getting in trouble for being angry, that's all.

T has shown you before that she welcomes all of your feelings, including anger. We don't have to be all rational and "perfect" in our relationships with T. We can struggle and flail and show them the parts of ourselves that we would never show anyone else....we HAVE to...otherwise, how can they help us heal?

I really really really get how scary it is. I've had times like you are having when I am afraid I'm in trouble and I'm waiting for T to call and it just feels HORRIBLE. I know.

Here are for you. I wish I could do more.