My wife suffers from depression. Lately when she comes home from work, she goes straight to bed and either watches TV or sleeps until time to go to work the next morning. I have to assume responsibility for everything at home except cleaning (she is a neat freak)., and complains incessantly about the house--even though it is usually pretty orderly.

Social obligation are ot of the question. She will invariably back out at the last minute. In fact, it is hard to depend on her for anything that she "promises" to do. The thing that occupies most of her time is caretaking her family of origin, and even with that she has become increasingly less dependable. Her family of origin is very dysfunctional, and she has assumed the role of rescuer. She exerts a tremendous amount of energy trying to make everything "normal."

Anyway, my previous marriage to a seriously depressed spouse ended in divocrce (can you say dejavu), and I would not like the same thing to happen here. I am involved in a ministry at my church called "Celebrate Recovery" for codependency. I am wondering of it is okay to reveal my wife's depression to the group.

My wife is sensitive about her depression. even her own family isn't aware of it. She gets angry if I mention anything about it (she has become a very angry person), and she would just as soon ignore it. She has medication (Wellbutron and Lexipro) which she was taking for a while, but she won't keep taking it. It seemed to help her, but she says she doesn't want to be a slave to medication and doesn't like the way that it makes her feel.

All the advice that I get about the issue seems to be about her and her problem, but I can tell you from experience that this is HELL for the spouse who is married to a person with depression. Please offer some advice.

Cras108er