Thanks WePow, Skeksi, Fartraveler. I hope I can process this and work this through over the next two weeks, because that's how long it will be until I can see him again because I can't have my usual Monday morning session when he gets back on the 22nd. That's the one he took away from me.
I hate when I do stupid things that I don't think through all the way. Although it does help to know I'm not the only one who's done this!
And it's so hard when different parts have entirely different reactions. Angry teens who felt it was thoroughly unfair of him to enforce consequences, frightened little parts who just wanted to "be good" when he gets back so he's not mad, and some relatively mature adult parts who understand that it wasn't a good decision to miss my session today and who recognize that it wasn't fair to our T either... this stuff is so complicated, and I still have SO much trouble with impulse control... it's frustrating and exhausting.
I miss my T. It does suck, Fartraveler. And it feels like FOREVER until he'll be back.