(((jen)))

I agree with the others.

I can understand what you've said. I can understand your perspective somewhat. But, please don't beat yourself up for questioning things. As a parent, I can say that I am always kicking myself over what I do/don't allow (or say). That is a universal trait of all parents.

Not to excuse your father's words or behavior (in any way)... I can become pretty overwhelmed by my emotions at times & words that shouldn't ever be spoken come out of my mouth in a frenzy. Emotions don't equal reality. They are not facts. I do love my girls very much and don't ever want to hurt them.

I'm not saying that your father is as unhealthy as I. Just consider the possibilty of your father being emotionally overwhelmed. Fear and sadness that his daughter felt so depressed that she (you) were in need of big help. Depressed that he couldn't be the one to make you feel better (like he did when you were younger). On the outside, the anger is a lot easier (and more socially acceptable) for a man to express. It's worth sitting down with your father to talk about these feelings. While the words he speaks may initially hurt a lot, and make you angry, try to come straight out and ask your father if he's scared and/or sad about your hospitalization.

Lastly, please don't apologize for posting what is on your mind.

I hope that my advice and "wisdom" didn't hurt anyone.