Not sure if I should post this here or in the sleep section, but it has a bit more to do than sleep so thought maybe here would be best (feel free to move it though if it doesn't belong here).
So, the other day I called the sleep clinic because my insomnia was getting really bad again, and it seems like I just can't sleep at night (except when I take heavy duty sleeping pills, and in most cases I often become immune to all of them very quickly)... I've always been a night person, even as a kid.. my anxiety is always so bad a night.. as soon as the sun sets, I become extremely anxious and can't sleep. I don't know if it's really insomnia or just that I have my days and nights mixed up, but even when I do finally fall asleep during the day, it is all broken up and I don't sleep for long. I finally called the sleep clinic and went for an over night sleep study last night. The previous night, my anxiety was so bad, that I only slept about 45 minutes. (And it was broken up).. so I was VERY out of it yesterday... somehow managed my shift at work, came home, took a two hour nap because I felt like I was going to pass out from lack of sleep.. still felt tired after I woke up, but forced myself to stay awake so I could sleep at the sleep clinic. I ended up having to take two gravols to help me sleep, but I did manage to get a few hours of sleep, although I woke up about 4 or 5 times throughout the night. I will know my results when I go back for my follow up appointment on April 21st.
Here's my question.. is it possible for someone to be.. nocturnal and just not able to sleep at night? If I'm immune to every sleeping pill I've tried, will there ever be any sleeping pill that will work? Even when I force myself to stay up all day, I still can't sleep at night.. is this all from just being such an anxious person all my life, with my anxiety being high at night? Could this be also caused from my temperal lobe epilepsy and maybe I'm just not on the right seizure meds yet? (I've heard before that that type of epilepsy can cause insomnia).. Even when I'm really tired and sleep deprived, it still takes me at least 2 hours or more to fall asleep. Yet when I wake up, (press snooze on the alarm clock), I instantly fall back into a deep sleep and start dreaming again.. I thought as one starts to wake up, they are well past the dream phase.. so why am I dreaming when I wake up and can easily fall back into my dream right away after pressing snooze (which only gives you 10 minutes to sleep), yet I instantly fall back into my dream in those last ten minutes. I'm always so tired and exhausted all the time.. I feel like I need a sleeping pill to help me sleep at night, but then some sort of caffeine pill to keep me awake during the day. The odd time that I actually do get more than 6 or 7 hours of sleep, I still never feel rested.. ever. I'm always so out of it, and never awake in the morning... even if I have gone to bed early. And when I do sleep, I have nightmares. Almost every single night, I wake up screaming or am very jumpy because I have freaky night terrors.
Anyone have any advice or know what could be causing all this? My guess is anxiety, but even when I was taking anti anxiety pills (benzos), it still didn't work, and I ended up getting addicted to them, as I was so desperate for sleep, that my doctor won't give them to me anymore. I even took 25mg of valium once when I went for my MRI, and still could not sleep.. was not even remotely tired (although it did cause me to hallucinate!)...
I will be going back to school in September, and classes start at 8am, which means I will need to sleep regularly at night if I want to be able to make it to class.. I'm worried that my sleep will interfere with my school and I'll never break this vicious cycle
I hope I at least stayed asleep long enough last night at the sleep clinic for them to get some results!