((((akshayag))))

I am glad you are here and I am glad that you posted. It has not been a year yet, give yourself time. I know how hard it is after 18 years of marriage I did not get over it over night. Things will get better with time. Try to breathe and I am glad that you made an appointment with your t. I know that you do not think that meds will help, but give it time as it takes them time to get in your body and start to work.

I hope you will be very open in therapy. Let yourself feel it and release those things you are feeling. You have a right to what you feel and to be heard. Know that we are listening and are here for you while you wait to see your t. They will know how to help and guide you. I know it hurts and I validate what you are feeling.

You said you wish there was a way to make your emotions go away. I think many of us have felt that way many times. I did not think one could cry so many tears but they are still falling. Feeling your emotions so that you can deal with them and put them where they need to go will help. For if you do not deal with them and just stuff them away, they will end up coming back and many times they seem to come back stronger almost as if saying, you are going to look at me.

I know you feel really bad and I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Please know that we are here and listening. You are not alone even though it feels that way. I hope you will keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. Sending gentle hugs.

dps