Good points ripley. I do need to do "self care". I get lost in all the confusion and forget about me.. I must learn to take better care of me.

And you are right. Cleaning his mattress did not change his view about women... I am shocked that he blurted out that cleaning is a woman's job...

Again you are right.. Unconditional love does not mean I "doing always for him".. And letting he walk all over me.. He blew up at me tonight and said "you are the adult, parent, why don't you act like one... I was honest.. maybe I should not have said this as it man reinforce his intimidation towards me... I told him I can't be the parent because if I make you angry you break things, throw things at me, verbally abuse me, and this frightens me and you know it.........He did not say anything....... Sometimes I can defuse his rage, sometimes I just walk away... I know better than to interact with him when he is angry.....It only makes things worse.......

Guess this being said, it might be the best thing for me to just move out...Guess if his ship sinks, it is his responsibility... Just hope the captain doesn't go down with the ship... I worry wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much......... Now where is that wine...... OOO gee AJ took it...

Just to let anyone that reads think I drink a lot, I really don't... I've had three bottles of wine since June of 2009... I opened one bottle and had a few glasses but did not even finish the bottle... AJ took the other two bottles....... I talk a lot about wine, not sure why....