Thanks so much for all of your comments/support. I did ask him after that day, I think the next day, if he was still mad at me, but he said that he just needed to get it out.
I do see that maybe a discussion about my hospitalizations affecting him would be needed or good for him. We have in the past talked about how it makes him worry and makes things difficult for both him and my step-mom when I am depressed and stuff. I have been thinking a lot about how my depression and life has affected both of them as well as my mom and step-dad...it's very overwhelming. I know it's hard on everyone that has been involved in my healing and seeing me in and out of the hospital this year as well as when I was in and out of the group home in the past. Lots of bad memories surround that, so won't go into the group home thing. My dad has done a lot of things in the past that have hurt not only me but the entire family meaning my brother and sister and of course my step-mom. They seemed to be able to get past that.
I am not sure when the best time to bring anything up with my dad would be. We have what is called a team meeting, where a social worker and my dad and step-mom and a friend are at the house for an hour talking about what I am doing/not doing for my recovery. So maybe it will be brought up there? My T asked if my dad should come back in for another session...I am not up for that right now.
Anyways, just seems their lives would be so much better if I wasn't around, and that may or may not be true.
take care and again thanks everyone,
jen