Please don't be hurt or insulted by what I'm about to say. It's just an observation to consider. Are you trying to avoid working on your own personal, difficult stuff? You seem to be spending a lot of energy on constant "ruptures" with your t. It makes me wonder if it is a way to avoid the real issues that are bound to be very personal and revealing. I guess, are you avoiding "you" and all that that entails by projecting all these issues onto your t? Because, like you said, you'll end up spending your session working on the problems with your to instead of working on you and your own issues. Just a thought. I could be totally off base here.