This part of your reply I can really agree with. The fact that my "attachment" to her (attraction just doesn't fit) is not at all sexual in nature tells me that my feelings for her are more of an emotional attachment. She and I have talked in length about certain things; we both divulged the basics of our CSA, and one of my alters (I'm DID) came out to her and they cried together. Sounds strange or corny, but I really have an emotional connection with this girl.

What sucks is that with [my] BPD, when she has a bad day and is impatient, I'll hate her for the time being unless she does something to make me idealize her again. I'm starting to think she has some BPD traits as well, as (depending on the day) she's either really happy to see/talk to me, or she's really impatient with me and wants me to leave her alone. No gray areas, just like me. Not really sure what to do with that, to be honest ...anyway...