So - I am feeling a bit better now and sorting out a plan for the future. Its hard to let all my hopes go and think of a future without him but I cannot see a future with him anymore and just want to be happy and live in peace.

After he told me on Monday that it was over (and thank you everyone for the support!!!) and it was hard for me... He now says he never said that and I am inventing. He was nice for a few days and I ignored it. He was crying last night in bed (I ignored it) and he is ill (caughing, sneezing, goes to the toilet often, and looks very ill). I asked him today to give me a cheque for some money he owes me and then the abuse started again. I am a cow, slag, etc etc... He was shouting and standing over the table... I ignored him and went out of the room. He said 'I dont know why I weep over this you are a slag'.

I feel that I want him to pay (not necessarily money wise) for the abuse and pain. And just feel sad about everything.

I went to the support group on Thuersday and it was good. Very powerful.

Thanks again guys xxx