Well he is more "accomodating" than many are. This means that he does have control over himself. Most of these guys can't control it (they have such deep issues to work on and they aren't working on any of it).

This can happen in non abusive relationships too. You have to answer it (unless it would put you in danger).

How do you respond when he puts you down?

I guess I'm wondering how much of this relationship can be worked on (how much he can work with you).