I dated a guy off and on for three years, and was totally oblivious to many of his problems (or I just outright refused to acknowledge their existence) for most of the time we were going out. The second time we broke up, a dear close friend of mine suggested that my ex might be narcissistic. He was basing this observation based off of personal experience related to his father, who was diagnosed as having a narcissistic disorder by their family psychiatrist. I kind of saw what he was talking about, and even agreed for the most part, but it was wierd. Whenever I went back to my ex and hung out with him (we tried to be friends) I forgot all of the manipulation, all of the slights, and all of the arguments where he couldn't possibly be wrong and how we had had a perfectly good relationship, and that I was just too emotional and had to stop getting mad at him. We ended up back together, and broke it off finally for sure this past December.
However, I am finding myself getting drawn back in. We hang out a lot together again, and I talk to him on the phone a lot. He doesn't exhibit his narcissistic behavior all the time, and still does a lot of really sweet things for me. If I ignore his less civil comments, we get along perfectly.
I know he's not good for me, and I know I don't want to be with him the rest of my life. But even knowing all of this, and talking to my friend about what his mother went through in the 20yrs she stayed married to her husband, it all just disappears when I'm with him or talking to him. I don't really know how to keep my head on straight around him. It's probably a bad thing that I'm still really in love with him.
Are there any other people out there who could give me any advice? Also, I've never had a long term relationship before him, so ending it is something I don't really know how to do permanently, so any advice there would be wonderful.
Thankyou everyone!
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