Ugh sometimes I feel that way in T too.. like, if I knew these answers I wouldn't need therapy, ugh!!

I think farmergirl might be right to an extent, but sometimes dealing with ruptures ARE us dealing with ourselves and our reactions.. which can be hard stuff too. Sometimes ruptures lead us into the difficult territory, or help prepare us for it. You are so committed to your healing googley, that I am sure you are on the right path, even if it is a stumbling and winding and confusing path. Don't be too hard on yourself.. easier said than done, though, I know.